Announcer (off screen): Thank you for all those joining us at home for this live telecast of The Age Run Melbourne 10km race! We now bring you live to our studio, where Pablo and Hemingway are standing by.
Pablo: Thank you and good morning! Hemingway, could you imagine a better day for a run?
Hemingway: I can't. It's a beautiful sunny morning and forecasts predict that it'll stay that way. Perfect conditions for this event.
Pablo: Truly. Now I understand that among the thousands of competitors, there is actually a Canadian running?
Hemingway: That's right! It'll be Simon's first 10km race. I spoke to his team, and apparently his training runs have never been more than 4km long. This is very likely the longest he's ever run. Period.
Pablo: Wow, that's a lot of pressure. Is there a reason for this unusual training regimen?
Hemingway: Understandably, he's been tightlipped surrounding this, but we've heard rumours of iliotibial band syndrome troubling his left knee.
Pablo: I can't imagine the bravery it must take to compete while fighting such a debilitating condition. He is a far better man than I.
Hemingway: Than either of us.
Pablo: Here, here. Let's take a moment of silence to salute his manliness.
Hemingway: ...
Pablo: ...
Hemingway: I'm glad we did that. For those of you just joining us the 10km race is just about to get underway. I can see Simon at the starting line now.
Pablo: Who is that standing next to him?
Hemingway: That is Steve. He'll be tough competition for Simon. He has competed in multiple marathons. 10km is routine for him. He's also Simon's boss.
Pablo: Can Simon hope to compete against all that experience?
Hemingway: We can only wait and see.
Pablo: And ... the starting horn has sounded! They're off! What can we expect in this first part of the race?
Hemingway: I think the racers will be keeping a steady pace. Feeling each other out.
Pablo: That's exactly what it looks like. We'll be right back after a word from our sponsors!
Pablo: We're 2.5km into the race. What have we learned?
Hemingway: Well, both Steve and Simon are running very comfortably. They've rarely been more than a few metres apart. And.. holy smokes!
Pablo: Simon has surged ahead! What's he thinking?
Hemingway: Well, Steve's sons are also running the race. Simon looks like he wants to try and keep pace with them. Meanwhile, it looks like Steve is running with Lisa, another runner from Canada.
Pablo: Can Simon keep this pace up? Can Steve afford to let Simon run away on him? All this and more when we get back!
Pablo: 5km in. Things are starting to get interesting!
Hemingway: They've broken up into three groups now. Steve's sons have run ahead. Simon is perhaps 300m behind with Lisa and Steve another 200m behind him.
Pablo: I know it's early, but do you think Simon can hold the lead and beat Steve to the tape?
Hemingway: It's hard to say. Both runners are moving very well and.. Oh!
Pablo: What is it?
Hemingway: Simon is starting to grimace just a little. I think his IT band is acting up!
Pablo: Oh no!
Hemingway: He looks like he's going to put his head down and power through it. He's trying to avoid concrete and run on the grass when possible.
Pablo: Oh the humanity!
Hemingway: I don't know if he'll be able to hold on. We are halfway to 10km. Simon has not run this far before. It's uncharted territory.
Pablo: What's IT band syndrome like?
Hemingway: A hot poker into the side of your knee. I can't imagine what he's thinking. Almost half the race still to go. It has become a battle just to finish the race.
Pablo: I'm tearing up.
Hemingway: On that note, we bring you a word from our sponsors:
Pablo: With only 2.5km left, we've truly entered the endgame of the race.
Hemingway: Simon is still running well. The adrenalin must be carrying him through.
Pablo: Look at Steve!
Hemingway: Steve is making his move! He's making his move! Simon doesn't see him coming up on him!
Pablo: He sees him now!
Hemingway: And look at how it has motivated him! For those of you just joining us, Steve has caught up with Simon and the two are now running neck and neck!
Pablo: Steve has surged ahead!
Hemingway: And Simon has responded! They are level again! With less than 2km left, the two are running in lock step!
Pablo: Look!
Hemingway: And Simon now surges ahead! He's looking to created some distance between himself and Steve! Let's see if he can hold this small lead!
Pablo: They're just coming to a hill now.
Hemingway: The climbs are just soul sucking, this far into a race.
Pablo: It looks like Steve is catching up!
Hemingway: Yes. Steve has craftily used the hill climb to pull even yet again. They're running together towards to last climb of the race.
Pablo: What monster puts a climb 9km into a 10km race?
Hemingway: And look! Steve surges ahead! Can Simon respond?!?!
Pablo: He's trying! He's pumping his arms. You can see him grit his teeth!
Hemingway: And Steve has broken free! And Simon has cracked! The last hill did him in. Steve went and Simon could not go with him.
Pablo: sob.
Hemingway: There's not much road left. The runners are rounding the bend toward the finish line. Steve crosses and turns to high-five Simon as he finishes not even 20 seconds behind him in a time of 59.45. A new personal best!
Pablo: What a race.
Hemingway: Truly. A fine performance by all involved.
EXEUNT
Hello Pablo and Hemingway, being an avid track sport spectator I wanted to comment on the fine race that was run that fine day. I think it must also be reported that in an exclusive interview with Simon for Esquire magazine, Simon credits his amazing sister Sarah for inspiring him to be the athlete he is today. From the sounds of it, Simon said he would have been an overweight good-for-nothing if it weren't for her and her setting such a great role model for him. How lucky he is to have her in his life. I would like to take a moment of silence to appreciate fine sisters everywhere.
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